Sometimes I long for an escape, time to just get away. It seemed innocent enough I just wanted a day alone, away from my roomate, my friends, from school...it was like I was grieving but I don't know what I had lost, but I didn't get that time. I was interrupted. And I can't get that time here at school. I am so excited to live in an apartment next semester. I'm excited to get away. I've lost perspective. As I sit here planning a trip to Niagara Falls I'm ______________. I think the trip would be great. I'm spending alot more time on schoolwork lately and I'm just done. I've lost my focus, my drive, and passion...I haven't taken pictures in maybe a week or two. I sit here listening to Leslie play guitar and tears come to my eyes...seriously this brokeness thing is getting old. I want to be happy and I feel like "it's about damn time". My parents and friends are incredible...the real ones I love beyond words. I've become ok with the fact that I may not really ever get married. Nobody may believe me but I'm ok with that. But I can't forget the real happiness that I had when I truly was in love. Being in love again...I guess that guy is Jesus right now though and lately I've been a crappy girlfriend. I'm usually such a good one I've definately been told I'm the best...but who's perfect? I'm a silly romantic girl in an awkward mood...